Sunday, July 26, 2009
isn't that she cute wow...
but when can i see that smile again ? haiz currently i am writing this post while i am not feeling well my heart pumping too fast but wat to do no choice?... because of my past she wouldn't accept it...haiz...
is it too much to ask from god itself ?
Friday, July 24, 2009
its since been sometime my last blog....
its already 1 month 5 days with my lao po lorr...time at last push forward
these few days i been thinking...thinking a lot of things...such as
am i the most lucky guy in the entire world to have her?...Yes..
during the darkest days in my life when i have lost everything...
like city after destruction..country after war...
i lost my goal...i lost my direction..i am standing on a big field...without any road...without any direction leading me to another goal...
suddenly when myself is starting to be isolate from others...don't wish to be in another relationship...and turning into my old ways of life...
suddenly god gave me girlfriend...gave me a wife..that i really hope to marry with....
after a darkest night..there is a sunrise to start a day...she is my sun...
she won't let me feel lonely at all eventhrough she went to sleep
as i could felt that i am not alone...
she lead me to the path that i could see direction and goals..thanks baby!!..i don't know what to do without you by my side...city after destruction..there's contraction..country after war...help will be given by other country and itself will rebuild its country back to the orginal state.... I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
these few days i am busy with my final year project,my working and spending time with my lao po as i hardly can pei her as family wouldn't allow lol haiz very emo attach into it lorr i love her so much
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
somethings meant to be forgotten...God has give me a wonderful girlfriend...at first i felt that i couldn't believe but yet i believe it...slowly god wants to take her away from me....why god at first you gave me the perfect woman but now you trying to take her away from me..what do you want me to do..i commit too much sin..i knew about it...but how can you toy my feeling...what the fuck you want me to do...if you want just take my life with you don't toy my feeling...i love her...somethings is already over and i have forgotten esther and push her away from my life...and things never notice that she saw my photo with her...god please i want my wife back...please you already know that my heart isn't doing well and anytime when i faint i will be joining you....i am so tired so tired all i want is her beside of me taking care of me...yet wat the fuck do you want...why can't you god grant me just the little wish of mine...
dear baby hope you will be reading this
i jusat forgot to delete it away,i don't have the intention to go back with her...as i found you...you took my breath away..you took my heart when i see you...now that you bu li wor because of her...i tried to sms you...you didn't want to reply me...i guess you are sad...i swore to you already that i have already gotten over her..why do you still don't believe me...now is 7.50pm..i had vomitted my blood out its nice dark red colour...felt like fainting so i am sitting down on my chair resting...i didn't want to blackout as once i faint thats it dear...i am sorry i am not a good boyfriend...i only know to show care and concern and protection but other stuff i am weak on it...sorry i fail you....
since you bu li wor le..colours has exit from my life...feeling have gone out my life...if you don't believe me i can't do anything since i had let my baby down le...God bless her..God i love her...God i cannot do anything without her...God please
Sunday, July 12, 2009
sigh today i am very sad very sad thinking what to do...now that my lao po had left me alone after some words i said to her...i know its my fault...not that i don't trust you...is that i am worried about you dear...i just don't want anything happen to you okay....you are mine baby...i am sacred...i am afraid..i didn't want anything happen ok...dear i am sorry...i trust you and u are not a loose woman okay...you are the one who touches my heart...no one ever did that...now that you gone...its like my ending point...i made you sad i made you dissappointed in me..i can't help myself anymore...i have something to tell you just now but now you are angry...i shall just post it up...each time my heart pain it will shorten my lifespan...it doesn't matters liao since i made you so dissappointed...but i could ask you something..how do you feels when you are in my shoes??...haiz i am sorry
i am sorry
Thursday, July 9, 2009
somethings i manage to find out but i decided to keep it hidden deep down my heart....i know you are still in contact with him lorr...i know i can understand i won't stop you two...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
i fetch my baby early in the morning about 6 plus...pei her to school..after that went back home to sleep...came out at 12.30pm reach my baby school at 1 plus waiting in a shelter near her sch..saw her and pei her to amk hub...half way through the journey we saw her sister...she talk to her and so on etc...we finally reach amk hub...walk walk around..bought her a jacket and a dress...so on than take her home lol thats all
everytime when i say goodbye to her, looking at her walking towards the lift...it tigger my emotional mood i intend to feel sad...asking why do time going so slow...why couldn't i walk with her back to her house,why couldn't i do this and that....all sort of question popping out my head...wondering how am i going to do next when her father ban me from looking her daughter am i going to be emo everyday listen to love story by Taylor Swift...haiz i just want the clock to turn faster.....turn to 5months it will be better...sigh i am thinking what cause her to have no freedom...why this and that sigh...even through i love her but i couldn't bring myself to ask it... i love her...and god why didn't you turn the time faster why...i thought you usually does it in my life....haiz i am too irrated by yesterday and so on..i have no mood to talk more...
i hope that my baby is ok...haiz
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
dear i love you
Saturday, July 4, 2009
these few days happened a lot of stuff, relationship wise, my family, my life
under relationship wise
she is the perfect girl for me and i love her, she is the one and ya she's the one who touches my life in currently situation....i felt happy...but i am sad because she still have doubts on me..and we are not stable yet...from wat my lao po says...i just sad...i couldn't sleep for the whole night i am thinking why is this happening to me...am i too mystery for you find out...from my view my previous relationship which change my life and i lost everything in my life...currently my life is like after war situation...blood shed land and land of dead bodies...thats why a phrase can say about me...a relationship can change a person and his personality....sorry i know its hard for you to guess out about me...because my previous relationship of that girl who made me lose everything...since the previous relationship i have isolate myself from anyone because i sacred to lose everything again...but still i start my relationship with you..i afraid to lose you too...god taken almost all my everything...leaving a land after destruction...
i have nothing now...my money my everything...
dear god
this time i won't let you take kerryn away from me...she is my life support without her..i might just give up on my life...returning to your side....i need her god...she is just my future that i would want to marry over...god you have taken my life effort,my lifeworks,my life passion,my outdoor passion...what else do you want from me arr?
who can i relay on now?? who can rebuild my world after its destruction??who can gave me the will to carry on....even through i pick myself up but still i am just the person whose hope got dash....so much that he is starting to given up...
no one can answer that because its deep down into me...
no one ever cares for me from wat she does to me
no one ever love me that much from wat she does
today i had both a happy and sad mood...
woke up in the morning...went out at 1 plus to my brother lan shop and camp there till 6 plus when another of my brothers camp after calling him 13th times to rush him
and went to ang mo kio hub...to watch transformer and pei my lao po in the same time
we had our dinner in the food court...spending some time in the arcade
watching the movie till 11plus....played Inital D 5, jubeat,maxium tune...till 1 plus when i saw my lao po talking on the phone...my heart says die liao i can't pei ni go back home liao
ya it comes true...i just took her to the taxi stand and waited for her dad to fretch her home lol...looking at the car moving off from the taxi stand i felt sad asking myself why am i feeling this way?....is it our relationship stable ?....my heart is broken once again...am i so mystery
am i too desperate le...am i too caring...am i too much for a girl to ask for??
why do she have to doubts about my words why ?? i said to her that i would marry her means i will but she didn't believe...i said i will marry you mean i will...do you want me to swear to god ? why do you have to doubt me why...but since my heart already fall in love with you...i can't do anything
Friday, July 3, 2009
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these few days quite busy haiz haiz dear dear i am sorry that i made you angry lorr dear dear i am so sorry
i don't deserve the forgiveness from you haiz...
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
