{M}y {T}ree {O}f {L}ife

2011-06-06T23:11:00.000-07:00

its been a year plus maybe after my last post...its time to sum up my life in this blog...
right now i am currently studying for my higher nitec electronic engineering...and yes i am in the navy...things never goes well in my life...my son is out of his mother stomach its my son i am so happy...and there's up and down in my life...from good to bad and worse...i let her a lot of loose so freedom that she mix with the wrong company...from caught up on smoking to tattoo..no offense on tattoo wise..just that i worried for next time if she working will not find a good job...i know i have my mistake...i tried my best to help her keep her under accompany yet she finds that isn't good enough...all she wants is more and more and more...i need some-time on my own...so after my son his 1st birthday party went bad after that i was sad and she just bash out from my house just like this and scold and scold...without getting the facts right...i am very sad and tired of this...why can't you sit down and talk to me quietly peacefully settle things out that is what i hope of it yet the whole things happen again and yet again...ask yourself this are you happy that i am getting a divorce with u?...ask yourself i will not go to that extend that i want a divorce with u if you never pull that stunt of yours that day...no matters how hard the situation you should quiet down and a sorry isn't hard right...than wat the fuck...i can give you one more chance but will you turn over a new leaf? change yourself?..our son is still young i don want my son to have a broken family...neither anyone wants that to happen..will you change..i will forget all your mistake you done that day...and everything else...you forget all my mistake than we could start anew...but i guess its hard now..as you tend to listen to your dad your grandma your friends...you know what i want in a family...whats my wishes...i guess you will not see this even i post this.....yup i just want to say out whats on my mind...but what can i say... i don want to end this...i treat you not good enough meh...what you want i gave it to you...do your friends have it? nope...i just want to say take care yourself...i will let god decide for this...

hais

2010-04-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

wow my blog died so long
hahaha

these few months just being me....not comment....i just join tampines ite higher nitec
ya ya....so ya just love to listen to thai song...so nice hahaha

Fucking angry

2010-03-20T09:45:00.001-07:00

I am damn fucking my multi coated lens for my sunglasses lost due to someone fault...fucking hell it is not fucking cheap sia it is 15hundred dollar sia...why is bitch. Anyhow put my stuff. I am damn angry because i save each an every lens for two month without eating ex food sia fuck that maid

Fucking angry

2010-03-14T00:50:00.001-08:00

Time to Do some update

2010-03-08T18:48:00.001-08:00

Hmm i can't wait to see my baby boy deleon chee...is he going to look like me ? Or is he going to look like his mother ? Hmmm i been waiting for a child of my own..quite some time already. Finally i have a baby boy..trying to build back the relationship with my wife as recently we have a big fight..i went to pub because sometime my brothers ask me to assist him some maintance of his sound system. Hmmm when i go pub i only drink. Because tiger beer is my second wife to me hahaha...don't jealous because tiger is my second wife lor hahaha....hmmm later going to thomson medical centre with my wife lol...hmmm looking at my baby boy..my wife asked me a question once that is are you going to be sacred when i giving birth ??? My answer to her i won't because i am a first aider and in the past i do work at parmedic at private companies. So ya how am i going to be sacred and faint like someone man hahas. Ok thats for now because i am going back to play yulgang sea...as right now i am in the toilet doing cake you name it i got it hahas.

these 2 month activity

2010-02-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

these few month since i last post..i lost my beloved grandma 26/01/10...i bonded with my brother john...hais losing someone that you love so much was just so great as that blow was just too great...hais i just couldn't bear myself to see my grandma leaving me like this...so after that i took my ite result hais another shit....but ya just hope i can get into poly pa..god...so ya i pass my btt going for FTT...these few month ming chuan and we (jeff and i) our term is getting more and more worse each day...as we had a big fight through...so ya i do hope our term will be better...new year eve...i went to my uncle francis house for reunion... hais my grandma not there... this new year doesn't have any meaning either too...after that we went out to my wife family reunion too..than went home..during the new year day i didn't spend much..either at home or go out...after that my day went worse as no one to talk to every day...my exp or my sad day...hais as my grandma predict my sister won't take care of me...even through i had a family of mine...hais thats my family problem don't have to share it either...only my brother jeff knows my day how is it...hope my ah gong getting better as he also admit into hospital also and which is in tan tock seng wth....so ya today my own family we went to sentosa to have our leg massage and fish eating my hair wa lau eh...so we went to underwater world than the dolphin show and than that fort silso god damn it half way through that journey it start to rain what the hell...so ya i wasted my 16 buck lol after that we went back to vivo city to have our stomach full at one rest...picture post up at facebook

2009-12-25T20:09:00.000-08:00

its been more than a month that i blog...
let me take this chance to sum up everything
during the period before my marriage i had to prepare the stuff for my wedding, meeting up with my girlfriend (currently my wife hehe)..hmmm here comes the dec 13 my wedding..yes i been waiting for this day quite a long time liao hahas...so ya after getting to comb my hair by my parents..than i went to sleep..but i can't get into sleep too haha...so ya spend me about 1 to 2 hour to get into sleep, so ya woke up around 4 plus as my bro jeff wake me using the method of morning call...so ya prepare and so on...than my brothers which is jeff and ming chuan reach my house around 5 plus..so early lol...than so is alvin around 6 plus...Christopher cannot make it due to his stomach pain...hmmm i understand that but i hate ppl say empty promise...so ya its ok now haiz...so we set off at 7.30 am from my house to her house. haha after that small boy kick my car door..its part of the tradition so now there's 4 of us...i need have my other brothers standing by below..which is alan,kenny,my elder brother..so back to the wedding story we manage to break into her door at 0815 by trick and than break into second door at 0825...so ya haha we have fun too..took photo liao..we headed botanic garden took liao picture...than headed to my house haha than tea ceremony..take hongbao time wahahahas...but i still need to give lol dotzzz....so ya we head back to her house again to have tea ceremony lol...than head back to my house haha...finally i can rest at my bed because i been at the floor for nearly 3 weeks lol...so we rest rest till we have to go to the dinner we pack everything into the car than we head for it...so ya thanks to my brothers, my buddy and jeff family...i was drunk lol..i don know wat did they put in lol sian lol
kena drink like very er xing now i still can get that feeling back again lol..so ya i need to thanks jeffrey and his family,ming chuan,emil,yujun,alvin and finally edward to come to my wedding...
so ya spending the whole week getting headache lol sian...so ya this week hmmm getting to watch avater and alvin and the chipmunk 2...so ya yesterday christmas hmm i didn't bring her out as town area very crowded i didn't want go lol...so ya she must be damn not happy...sian lol hahaha

2009-11-22T21:58:00.000-08:00

currently i am at my office doing nothing slacking hahas...
just watched the movie 2012 at the net lol hahas...looking forward to see my wife haha

as she is coming to my office haha...hope my ah ma is alright as she is still at the hospital..

oh ya...my wedding will be held 13 dec...location will not be release till further notice...as i have made up my mind who to invite..so ya just wait for my wedding notice hahaha that all for now

2009-11-17T22:54:00.000-08:00

hmmm not sure what to post next...orh ya i bought my lao po 3 new hamster hahaha
next time than i post it up...quite cute hahaha...yesterday we went to a pet shop i saw a rabbit so cute and so is the price too hahaha its $250..wow so ex...i think next time than buy pa but that rabbit doesn't grow bigger than its originally size lol

2009-11-17T22:49:00.000-08:00

lets put some life into this blog hahas

these few week being a tough one as there's presentation going on..
and etc.

thanks everybody for supporting me...
the people who is closer to me will know what is going to happen next around December hahas

2009-11-17T22:42:00.000-08:00

time to clear some air in this blog hahas.
hmmm thought changing a blogskin....
start a new blogskin change some mood haha

i believe its my fault

2009-11-02T16:51:00.000-08:00

since everyone says that i am not mature in enough..so be it...
since you trust your own friends so be it...
i don want to bother it anymore...
i am not childish at all actually...is just that i am my past that is no one knows it ok...who knew let me ask you..let me tell you only my secondary school classmate knows about it...people says that a relationship will change a person...i believe so... do ask you to reconsider the marriage...i can't give you the things you want as its wat you say in your blog and all your blog post too...since you saw her blog..i wouldn't care too...reconsider the marriage pa...
if you think of die...than you go ahead.. i won't stop you..do you know what is the word die...i believe you didn't...do you exp people says that they want to continue living in this world? no you didn't...i did...even their last moment in this world they still says that..they still wants to spend their life with their partner....last time i am not a childish person i lost a lot of things...god taken away all the things i wish for...i wanted to hold on..but god taken away...i lost it from batch son of bitch..backstabbing...i want to find back my value in life...i lost it away....i can't tell you how much i cherish this relationship...hope you understand...its just the commitment...i don't dare to give...do you understand i can't...i can't because i don want god to take away this relationship and the things i cherish for...from me anymore...i really don't have the guts to commit into it...i afraid i lost it..because i made mistake a lot..can you understand a bit..

20 and 22nd october

2009-10-20T17:01:00.001-07:00

yesterday its 20th October
it mark my relationship into 4 months...
nothing much to celebrate..as my lao po fallen sick...so let her rest pa..althrough it maybe sad case...but its ok hahas...so ya tml is 22nd October it marks my birthday...so ya i guess i am celebrating my birthday alone again...last year was lucky that my squad mate celebrate with me look at the older post you guys will understand...tml wat should i do ?...see who got sim to celebrate with me...as my lao po can't celebrate pa as she is sick...so let her rest pa...if no one celebrate with me than i celebrate my own hahas...every year my birthday i always go to pasir ris park go to more remote place to feel the breeze of the wind...spend one whole day there...almost all my secondary schoolmate knows that i am not afraid of that things...maybe tml i go cycle around singapore it will be nice as i never try that before or go to jungle to explore...tml than see how lol hahas

2009-10-18T21:29:00.000-07:00

hmmm updating my blog right now hahas...
2more months i am getting married to my beloved wife..hmmm i can't wait to see her everyday
hahas...hmmm 2 more months its still far very far being reached..hope time can turn faster..this coming thursday is my birthday hope everything goes fine as i hope no one remember it including my brothers as i don know wat will happen to me hahas...maybe stay low hahas

since you make that choice so i won't stop you

2009-10-10T01:47:00.000-07:00

this few days i had a very emotional unstable due to the current situation..today is just great..my girlfriend is patching up with the long lost friend..i don't want to talk about it...if you guys wants to know about it just call me or sms me i will tell you...hmmm currently i thinks that letting go is the best choice...letting go of her is the best choice of all..meaning i am giving her freedom letting her fly rather than preventing her fly...is like if you want the person to grow up you must let them be..than when they suffer they will know wat is right...so i am telling myself to let go let her be if she wants to do what let her be as i have no control of her...she wouldn't listen to me so ya let her fly pa...give her the freedom...so ya to me is the best choice of all..or else i might be facing the fights everyday...let her be pa...not that i don care anymore its time for you think pa...this is my final thoughts that will never change my mind...this currently post is the decision that i am making...i give you the freedom, i won't stop you from doing things, what you want to do i won't stop...that's final..because you wouldn't want me to control at all..so ya i let go..let god or fate leads you...hmm i shouldn't be protective anymore as its no point protecting the person i love...hmmm let it be ba...hmm tonight have gathering stupid gathering knn why must at geylang for dinner haiz no choice but to go...

i guess its my fault ba

2009-10-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

hmmm thought of posting something up
i guess my attitude my principle is too much for her to take
ba. my closest friends including my brothers and my gan mei mei..
knows that i hate things being half said or half done
i hate ppl do back stab me..
i really do get very very angry...
not that secret and surprise is bad
but all i want to said is if you wants to say it. say it full rather than giving me a answer which contain only 50%... i am a simple person just that don't step onto somewhere you shouldn't be stepping such as a country there is certain flight path of a airplane can follow.
i don force you to change but i certain hope you could just bear with me

darkness cloud between me,my life

2009-10-03T03:13:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a while.
the last time i post...
the past few week i could say there's up and down.turning point for my baby...my family is starting to accept the baby.thats a good thing i fought a very tiring fight..my family is not so open minded as some other person families..my family needs time to accept..sometime people do grown up but some not..i could see it..nobody knows my life and understand deep down into me..only god knows..i have given up my life totally..as i lost sometime greater than i could withstand that blow...no one understand that...my dream is to be a policeman..that is dash too...last time i do understand people thinking. thats why i have a lot of friends..as i know what are they thinking...but now its seem like that skill of mine is lost too..i couldn't say how much i regret doing that..why there's no one is there to guide me when i am down...the girl that i love she knows my case..i guess she doesn't believe my story too..as i hurt her too much..its not her fault as i am the one who hurt her..i tried to surface her that problem of mine..she didn't say anything too..who can help me...past few days she kept giving me pressure after pressure...i told her to relax but up to now its no use..just yesterday i am mad at her...as like i fought this battle for her and the baby..than she wants to give up..i know you have that mental breakdown of yours..is like unfair to me..you kept stating that i will mistreated you and that baby..i won't so is my family too..i fuck care the person who change your view i don even care..you say that i am unfair to you..than is my family easy to talk?..ask yourself is my family you ever care?...let me ask you do you even care about me...is like i am alone at most event...no one can support unless you do as you are mine future wife..i am very tired i tried you say you are very tired...is like wat the fuck to me am i not tired too...all you know is complain and complain..complain you are tired complain you want wish to take baby away..complain my family complain my sister...let me asked you this small question...did you ever think of the better solution to solve these problem rather than complain this and that...i can't pamper you too much ok..i have balance order..which means i won't side you too much. as i will compare who is right and who is wrong and than i will compare..i am a balance type of person..and please grow up abit as don use die infront of you...die cannot solve anything...die is only childish act...since you said you are not childish than wake up to reality...

i miss you and ah bi

2009-09-10T01:50:00.000-07:00

for past few days i never slept at all...i just can't sleep as a lot of things happen to me...you should be able to guess wat is it liao...my parent wouldn't allow ah bi(my baby nick) to born as they sacred of 'their' face being thrown...i am sad very sad...i went to school one of my friend saw me and ask me whether i am ok a not ?..my brothers thanks for concerning me..i am alright...today i felt like everything is lost..i lost ah bi and baby...i lost the way...today i was crossing the road there was a car nearly kill me...i not sure why at the first place there was a car at the road..because i am able to recall that there was no car nor bus at the road it is safe to cross...so ya...i felt there's is something pushing me to the other side of the road..hmm maybe i think too much so ya i am alright lor..maybe i am not careful pa...so ya spend the time in school..than went out to play lan and so on...but i am still not enjoying myself as my heart is still on ah bi...
i may be a weak guy when comes to relationship..i will intend to shed tears...which i really don't wish to say..i felt like hidden myself from anyone...but i couldn't do that as my brothers keep me accompany but i still push them away...sorry bro you guys should know what kind of situation i am...

2009-09-08T10:35:00.001-07:00

baby if you are reading this i am sorry... i have lost the battle....i try to fight for ah bi i try my best le...my family still ask me to settle it on my own...currently i felt dishearten heart broken...by their reaction...i thought my mom will help me but she back stab me...she say she will help me but in the end you are causing this pain towards me...i wanted to die but i can't leave baby and ah bi....i love you both all i wan is to see you both beside me..is that too much to ask..why is my father all he care is face face face...did you care about your son and grandson no because you said that you lost face to me...Wat the fuck what kind of man are you? all you know is to earn and earn and earn...all you care is money money money...how about me..did you care i guess not...my mom even worse...i am heart broken..i am tired i am really tired...why my family must be like that god...i hate everything in life...i hate it...who can i talk to now...who who who...god why are you playing with my life...can you just let me go...don't play with my life anymore and my baby life too let us born this child into this world..god please i surrender my life to you...baby don't bu li wor i really really needs you to be there for me..don leave me...

i miss you my baby

2009-09-08T04:26:00.000-07:00

the past few days i am getting my surprise after surprise...only my brothers and some of my friends would know what happened to me...so ya i really hope i could get approve from it...and start a new life...tonight will be mine greatest battle of mankind in century...if once get approve i will be happy that i won the battle lorr...to my baby i will be the one who will shield you from arrow.....thanks all my brothers who show concern toward my life lorr i am glad that i have you guys in my life thks bro

time to clean up this blog

2009-09-03T03:30:00.000-07:00

these few days i am sick thanks for all my brothers,gan mei mei and classmate concern lorr i am ok lorr hahas...so ya...my relationship is currently maintain quite well..hmm family business still going quite well too hahas...so ya hope to busy myself more more stuff pa as i don wan to slack at somewhere unless its fun place ba...hmmm sometime no ball spammer love to spam at my blog
hmm nothing to blog le pa

misunderstand

2009-08-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

the past 10 days..it maybe up and down to my relationship...maybe we haven get to understand each other more lor..i trust her a lot i know she won't betray me at all...so sometime we to have fights k..but we are ok in the after a while...sometime ppl do get jealous when his girlfriend..is talking to another guys..to me i am ok...because i more towards the europe side of ppl..we won't get jealous so much...we tend to be more caring to the girl...so ya sometime we may get too determine to get the stuff we wanted the girl to have as the gift for her...we may get a bit too serious...yes sometime we do have fights too...now currently i am flashing my thoughts...did i talk to girls nowadays no right..i been talking to her but all i felt that she is hiding something from me...it maybe a weird feeling to me but i hope if there's for me to know make sure do let me know as all my brothers knows that i hate to be the last one to know...i will get very flare up no matter who is that ppl...currently i am sorry to look through your handphone...but to me is cool...if you talk to anyone its ok i don mind lorr..if you talk to yr ex i also don mind...
because ppl do have life on its own...me myself have life too...these few months i didn't talk to all my gan mei mei and friend whom is female because i don want to cause misunderstanding between my baobei laopo and them too..and baby don get misunderstand with these words just now lor..because all i want is you in the front and the only seat..no more others girls lorr

2009-08-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

bibi i am sorry about yesterday incident i couldn't bear to say how much sorry to you..but i couldn't just couldn't as no matters how many sorry i said before you will still be sad...today morning i woke up look through your blog your facebook..emotion takes over me...i felt sad looking through the sms..makes me even deeper...i just hope you will be someone that i would want to marry to..i told myself..i am changing i am trying to change..its already getting good result..

LISTEN

2009-08-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

haiz i don't understand why couldn't my lao po just listen to me...my lao po is tired and going to faint..i asked her to rest yet she didn't wan to rest..this shows that i don have the power to talk to her...ask her to do this and that wat...haiz i am such a failure...why couldn't she listen to me why why why...currently i so angry and fill with sadness why couldn't she listen to me

2009-08-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

time to change some skin le lorr hehe

so i change le hope its nice k

these few days still sick somemore enter into hospital liao

god are you playing with me?

2009-08-08T20:52:00.001-07:00

the past few days a lot things happen
1st: i resign from my job
2nd: these few days my heart pump very fast and it seem to be out of breath
3rd: i am worry about my lao po when i am not around in the zone x
these few case made me so sad for past two days
whole thing goes like this
friday in themorning my lao po came to my house she called me 14 times and sms me too
i didn't wake up to pick up the call hmmm by than i found it odd lorr...my maid knock on my door telling me my lao po is here...so i saw her...she came to my house than next thing i found myself going back to sleep...she felt boring so she slept too...than my mom knock on to the door and she told me that she taking the maid to plaza to settle stuff lol so i woke up to bath...after going to the amk hub putting my shirt than we head off to eat lorr...since i starting work at 1615 i thought of takin her back home...so when we walk i felt very tired very tired..i have no idea whats cause that to happen...i felt my heart pump getting weaker....so slowly i felt out of breath...beginning to use my mouth to hunt for air...i can see that she was getting to worry...i said i am fine i still can go to work...so ya after a while of walking i couldn't take it...
no choice i still have to work...i told her i can work...so next thing she do is that she called joan my manager that i couldn't work on that day last minute basics...than she scolded my lao po and me too...haiz i could understand her feeling too but no choice lorr...that day till now i am still feeling very weak and getting weaker each day i don know why...
thats why i want to see my lao po everyday...i really want to see her
i worry about her...God do not take away me...i want to see her i want to be with her

hope to marry my bibi

2009-08-03T09:43:00.001-07:00

isn't it a very nice married couple hahas

Dear god please grant me these wishes i really wants to have it

please let me be the most lucky guy k please lord

loving her..thinkin of her

2009-08-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

updating my blog hahas, this few days happen a lot of things...perhaps only some people get to knows about it right?. its ok...once happen its already happen and ya hope everything is in a smooth journey from now on....yesterday night i reached home around 2plus after fetching my lao po back to her home...i been thinking...thinking of my bibi...so my thoughts wandering again.. thinking,imagine whats my future with my bibi..when can i have her by my side..my bed,pillow,kitty is cold..but if there's someone beside me it will be warm... one of my friend asked this question : why didn't get for her a couple ring ? i reply : i didn't want to get for her because i don't want any kind of rings i want wedding ring with her that is more better a couple ring...
i want to keep my finger for the only one k...
there is a question i can't answer myself either which is :
loneliness
God give a nice and my ms right...but he always likes to give me challenge..
sometimes i might felt lonely in this world
as i don't talk to anyone..usually i will isolate from the world of friendship
perhap i am too much of a mystery lorr...but bibi... trust me i have already tell you everything
nothing more to hide le..just that i am too mystery le lor...bibi you know what happen to me during my darkest period of my life..whats is the cause of it...

lets drop all the emoing topic k...

bibi knowing you is my best present...of all you came into my life which i want someone badly to lend her shoulder for me to rest on...from the period till now i am very tired i have lost everything friendship my goals,myself etc...bibi do you know that everytime i hug you i felt the warm in your smile and yr warm heart..i felt if time can pause let me hug longer...the time we spend together is nice fun...i cherish it...becuase i can see you...but sometime like weekend i didn't manage to see you i turnout sad very sad i didn''t know the reason why....

bibi trust me on this i will marry one day it won't be long away...i swear to god cross my heart
love bibi so much

God is it very hard to ask a flavour from you ?

2009-07-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

isn't that she cute wow...
but when can i see that smile again ?

haiz currently i am writing this post while i am not feeling well my heart pumping too fast

but wat to do no choice?... because of my past she wouldn't accept it...haiz...
is it too much to ask from god itself ?

2009-07-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

its since been sometime my last blog....
its already 1 month 5 days with my lao po lorr...time at last push forward
these few days i been thinking...thinking a lot of things...such as
am i the most lucky guy in the entire world to have her?...Yes..
during the darkest days in my life when i have lost everything...
like city after destruction..country after war...
i lost my goal...i lost my direction..i am standing on a big field...without any road...without any direction leading me to another goal...
suddenly when myself is starting to be isolate from others...don't wish to be in another relationship...and turning into my old ways of life...
suddenly god gave me girlfriend...gave me a wife..that i really hope to marry with....
after a darkest night..there is a sunrise to start a day...she is my sun...
she won't let me feel lonely at all eventhrough she went to sleep
as i could felt that i am not alone...
she lead me to the path that i could see direction and goals..

thanks baby!!..i don't know what to do without you by my side...

city after destruction..there's contraction..

country after war...help will be given by other country and itself will rebuild its country back to the orginal state.... I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!

2009-07-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

these few days i am busy with my final year project,my working and spending time with my lao po as i hardly can pei her as family wouldn't allow lol haiz very emo attach into it lorr i love her so much

2009-07-14T04:32:00.000-07:00

somethings meant to be forgotten...God has give me a wonderful girlfriend...at first i felt that i couldn't believe but yet i believe it...slowly god wants to take her away from me....why god at first you gave me the perfect woman but now you trying to take her away from me..what do you want me to do..i commit too much sin..i knew about it...but how can you toy my feeling...what the fuck you want me to do...if you want just take my life with you don't toy my feeling...i love her...somethings is already over and i have forgotten esther and push her away from my life...and things never notice that she saw my photo with her...god please i want my wife back...please you already know that my heart isn't doing well and anytime when i faint i will be joining you....i am so tired so tired all i want is her beside of me taking care of me...yet wat the fuck do you want...why can't you god grant me just the little wish of mine...

dear baby hope you will be reading this
i jusat forgot to delete it away,i don't have the intention to go back with her...as i found you...you took my breath away..you took my heart when i see you...now that you bu li wor because of her...i tried to sms you...you didn't want to reply me...i guess you are sad...i swore to you already that i have already gotten over her..why do you still don't believe me...now is 7.50pm..i had vomitted my blood out its nice dark red colour...felt like fainting so i am sitting down on my chair resting...i didn't want to blackout as once i faint thats it dear...i am sorry i am not a good boyfriend...i only know to show care and concern and protection but other stuff i am weak on it...sorry i fail you....
since you bu li wor le..colours has exit from my life...feeling have gone out my life...if you don't believe me i can't do anything since i had let my baby down le...God bless her..God i love her...God i cannot do anything without her...God please

2009-07-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

sigh today i am very sad very sad thinking what to do...now that my lao po had left me alone after some words i said to her...i know its my fault...not that i don't trust you...is that i am worried about you dear...i just don't want anything happen to you okay....you are mine baby...i am sacred...i am afraid..i didn't want anything happen ok...dear i am sorry...i trust you and u are not a loose woman okay...you are the one who touches my heart...no one ever did that...now that you gone...its like my ending point...i made you sad i made you dissappointed in me..i can't help myself anymore...i have something to tell you just now but now you are angry...i shall just post it up...each time my heart pain it will shorten my lifespan...it doesn't matters liao since i made you so dissappointed...but i could ask you something..how do you feels when you are in my shoes??...haiz i am sorry

i am sorry

2009-07-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

today woke up at 6plus...waiting for baby sms...i had that feeling that she didn't went to school as she said she is not feeling well so ya...my guessing is right..she didn't so ya she came to my house..she camp at my house lol...by right i should have take her to see a doctor but i forgotten haiz sad nvm...so ya my maid cooked instant noodle for us..while she is cooking we are choosing VCD to watch lol...when i open my cupboard...my baby hug me from the back..i was startled as no one ever does that in my whole life in relationship...my baby asked me a lot repeated question which is why is my heart beat..beating faster and faster ? my answer to it..is simple which is when there's you around my heart is racing...after that we watched that movie and ate my lunch...we head out to amk hub...we went to play jubeat, she asked me to play NX wth...i told her i am not good on it..she say try lorr so i try but fail..sigh its okay hehe...after that she played with me maxium tune...i let her win...lorr because you guys should know why lorrr...so ya took her back home...went to work etc..liao
somethings i manage to find out but i decided to keep it hidden deep down my heart....i know you are still in contact with him lorr...i know i can understand i won't stop you two...

2009-07-08T02:44:00.000-07:00

today was just another day which i enjoy most of the process..but its not perfect...
i fetch my baby early in the morning about 6 plus...pei her to school..after that went back home to sleep...came out at 12.30pm reach my baby school at 1 plus waiting in a shelter near her sch..saw her and pei her to amk hub...half way through the journey we saw her sister...she talk to her and so on etc...we finally reach amk hub...walk walk around..bought her a jacket and a dress...so on than take her home lol thats all
everytime when i say goodbye to her, looking at her walking towards the lift...it tigger my emotional mood i intend to feel sad...asking why do time going so slow...why couldn't i walk with her back to her house,why couldn't i do this and that....all sort of question popping out my head...wondering how am i going to do next when her father ban me from looking her daughter am i going to be emo everyday listen to love story by Taylor Swift...haiz i just want the clock to turn faster.....turn to 5months it will be better...sigh i am thinking what cause her to have no freedom...why this and that sigh...even through i love her but i couldn't bring myself to ask it... i love her...and god why didn't you turn the time faster why...i thought you usually does it in my life....haiz i am too irrated by yesterday and so on..i have no mood to talk more...
i hope that my baby is ok...haiz

2009-07-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

today was just a moodly day as i didn't get to sleep long lorr sorry dear that i made you felt sad lorrr...i took her to school than i head down to school ..idiot my FYP project we have to come up our own workpiece wtf how am i going to do that...after that went to plaza sing to play maxium tune lorr and jubeat hahahas...went to my lao po school fretch her lol i was kena scolded by her bringing something dangerous haiz sorry dear...after that went home and reach her school at 3pm waited waited till 4.30 she dash out and i was sleeping and she wake me up ans she is short of breath so the next time i scold her why you run and so on....adter that we went to amk hub she want to buy something and ask me to stay over one side lol haiz after that we went home lol hahas

dear i love you

my life deep down of me

2009-07-04T17:44:00.000-07:00

these few days happened a lot of stuff, relationship wise, my family, my life
under relationship wise
she is the perfect girl for me and i love her, she is the one and ya she's the one who touches my life in currently situation....i felt happy...but i am sad because she still have doubts on me..and we are not stable yet...from wat my lao po says...i just sad...i couldn't sleep for the whole night i am thinking why is this happening to me...am i too mystery for you find out...from my view my previous relationship which change my life and i lost everything in my life...currently my life is like after war situation...blood shed land and land of dead bodies...thats why a phrase can say about me...a relationship can change a person and his personality....sorry i know its hard for you to guess out about me...because my previous relationship of that girl who made me lose everything...since the previous relationship i have isolate myself from anyone because i sacred to lose everything again...but still i start my relationship with you..i afraid to lose you too...god taken almost all my everything...leaving a land after destruction...
i have nothing now...my money my everything...
dear god
this time i won't let you take kerryn away from me...she is my life support without her..i might just give up on my life...returning to your side....i need her god...she is just my future that i would want to marry over...god you have taken my life effort,my lifeworks,my life passion,my outdoor passion...what else do you want from me arr?

who can i relay on now?? who can rebuild my world after its destruction??who can gave me the will to carry on....even through i pick myself up but still i am just the person whose hope got dash....so much that he is starting to given up...
no one can answer that because its deep down into me...
no one ever cares for me from wat she does to me
no one ever love me that much from wat she does

2009-07-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

today i had both a happy and sad mood...
woke up in the morning...went out at 1 plus to my brother lan shop and camp there till 6 plus

when another of my brothers camp after calling him 13th times to rush him
and went to ang mo kio hub...to watch transformer and pei my lao po in the same time
we had our dinner in the food court...spending some time in the arcade
watching the movie till 11plus....played Inital D 5, jubeat,maxium tune...till 1 plus when i saw my lao po talking on the phone...my heart says die liao i can't pei ni go back home liao
ya it comes true...i just took her to the taxi stand and waited for her dad to fretch her home lol...looking at the car moving off from the taxi stand i felt sad asking myself why am i feeling this way?....is it our relationship stable ?....my heart is broken once again...am i so mystery
am i too desperate le...am i too caring...am i too much for a girl to ask for??
why do she have to doubts about my words why ?? i said to her that i would marry her means i will but she didn't believe...i said i will marry you mean i will...do you want me to swear to god ? why do you have to doubt me why...but since my heart already fall in love with you...i can't do anything

2009-07-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

these few days quite busy haiz haiz

dear dear i am sorry that i made you angry lorr dear dear i am so sorry
i don't deserve the forgiveness from you haiz...

2009-06-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

Monday 29/06/09
woke up at half past 4...went to bath and reach my lao po block at 5.15am
waited for till 6.15...it seem so fast...i don't think its 1 hours as a min ago i checked its 5.15am than second time its 5.30am le...how come..myself also don't understand why too..hahas...so ya go to her school had our breakfast together..its like my first time got up so early and pei someone that i love...last time i used to be isolate with my ex girlfriend..i won't about them that much lorr...this time is different i myself couldn't find the answer...how come i open up to my lao po so much and love her so much lei hmmm is she the one who step into my world?? i think so...she is my dream girl in the thick skull of mine..my idea girl is something like her pa...my lao po is a special one...realli...its my luck that i found her....because she knows where and when to care about me not like others ppl...she knows when to be sweet that melts my heart away...i can't took my eyes off her...i felt happy the moment i am with her...when i am with her i feels the world finally have colour and a place for me to live in..she maybe someone that ppl thinks she is not good but to me she is the 100%..the most perfect girl
back to the story hehe...went back home KPKB by my mom and so on after that came out go to my lao po school waited too...hahas saw her...i was so happy hahas...than i wan to cross the road and she asked me to walk into the some sort of crossing road for ppl...hehehe she is so sweet hahaas...after that we went to compass point than angmokio ave 3 or 4..a place where there's a lot of pet shop hahas she told me a lot of stuff...hahahs after that i took her to her house and during the journey she gave me a riddle the question goes like this everyone have to let it go one day...ppl felt it important...the answer is the word dead... wtf it freak me out...why she has the thinking to stop living...did i do something wrong did i...i don't want her to leave me...my mind is so confuse so confuse that freak me out at the bus stop thinking wat is happening...let me tells you how my brain thinks...still remember when your computer you accidentally open tooo many window and the computer lag...so when the computer manage to clear the memory it pop up so many folder and window...yup thats how i felt..
lol than i work at night i have no mood to do anything..bringing out my sadded mood...after that i felt like the world is coming to an end...but after that sms her and i went home sleep..
today i woke up at half past 4..i try to push my body up next thing i vomit wtf...i vomit blood my first thought was am i have period hahahas jkjk...next thing i felt giddy and i tried to change my cloth and start moving to the door i vomit again...than i blackout on the floor..i regain myself at 8 plus found myself in my bed ok thats good next thing i saw my lao po sms reply her lol i am so so sorry that i didn't tells you because i don't want you to lose all yr attention...all turn everything to me i will ber guilty de lorr...so ya later i taking her home at last so happy hahaha...should i buy a couple ring with her or buy a webcam so that i could webcam with her lei ?? hmmm i don't know lei

1 week relationship with her

2009-06-28T17:01:00.000-07:00

Wow its already 1 week so slow ? normally ppl say its fast but i will refer to slow lorr

as i love her...everytime i saw her my mood is back my hyper mood is back

no one can change that as i love her...

everytime i hold her hand,hug her...my heart always pump so fast

why wat happen to me...this is my first time getting that...

i felt my blood pressure went up when the moment i hug,hold her hand lol

hahas maybe thats true love for me hahas...today morning early in the morning as early as 5 am i went to ang mo kio at her house voild deck waited for her lol than we head to the coffeeshop near her school...which is sengkang secondary located at sengkang area

hahas...this is my first time waking up so early to pei a girl to school...i truly thinks that she the one coming for me le hahahas...

tonight than i shall update more

love you lao po hahahas

2009-06-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

these few days it maybe my best day of my life and my life i never been before
and ya something happen that i am sacred about which is gravidanza... il bambino non è mio i know i know..but its ok de i love you..i will accept everything...i don't want you to feel no one is with you ok lao po....i just want you to be with me no matter wat i love you ok

2009-06-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

these few days i felt wonderful..having my baobei entering into my life...brought along sunshine and colour to my life..since that incident happen...before she has enter into my life i was in a lost...i lost my direction in life...i lost everything...i think god knows that i lost almost everything in my life..he bring someone to me..maybe inexchange for the sin i done...pa i am so happy...i could felt the love coming out from her...i could felt she is bringing colour to my life...but i do hope she is okay...as she have to undergo so much hardship its hard for her...but don't worry i am here,i will protect you dote you and love you...treat you as my baobei lao po...i know sometimes my temper would be worse...i know as i didn't want you to feel hurt lorr...i will be yr husband one day...i know it hahas..just one day you will be mine...lorr hahahas...just now i manage to talk to her at msn hahahas saw her in webcam she manage to melt my heart with her face dear you are cute ok please don't say that you are ugly lorr baobei ..so ya these few days i manage to took photo with her as the new print lorr hahahas:

isn't that nice hahaha

1st day of love

2009-06-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

today is my day at least i get to work with my baobei lorr

so we meet at 2 than we drag to 2.45...thats ok baobei i understand lorrr haha

so ya we took a bus to amk hub...and she look a bit sad...i tried my best to made her laugh lol than when she is pass the stuff back to her ex and receive some sort of letter and stuff...and when the moment she open the drawer it brighten her days i hope...

this is the mickey mouse that i bought on saturday de...

i don't know why god asked me to buy i think even god trying to make us together lorr

hahaha than she was shock lorrr hahaha...than during the time christine and i go and throw rubbish i told her i pass...she was shock hahas....so after that there's a few friends of mine which is playing maxium tune everytime before i goes to work i will play one or two games

and than they saw me and her together hahas they asked is she my gf..guess what did i said ''no'' haha just kidding of course said yes hahaha...some say she very pretty hahaa

ya me too i also thinks this way too hahas...

after work during the half an hour free game christine told me that she is closing the machine

than i am the messager lol haha i called jane but she told me to wait lorr hhaha and than i hug my baobei lol when the moment she saw and she was shock hahaha....so ya i take her till somewhere we said goodbye hahahaha..i took some photo haha

yes tml my shift share the same with her lorrr yes i can pei her again

2009-06-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Isn't she cute,i love her....

baobei: i don't mind yr past...everyone do made mistake ok....

we can have a dozen of baby...as i want to teach them how to do sky diving hahaha

crazy rite haha....

you have my promise that i won't leave you....
but promise me that you won't leave me too lorrr

true you once have it...but now no more...than now its time to cross over the past le lorr

2009-06-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

wow thats me in the name orh thks to my baobei but i don know if she regards me to be her baobei too but ya...haiz when i see this and that i starting to love her more...

sorry if sometime that i have some moodly problem lorrr but it won't happen and ya so sorry about yesterday lorr baobei

2009-06-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

these few days i am just busy lol perhaps just finding time to kill myself from stress pa

finding someone that i like is not easy...finding someone who likes and love you is much much more difficult...haiz i just hope she can accept me lorrr...but ya

2009-06-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

these few days quite emo due all kind of reason
looking at ppl walking away from me
looking at her very near but yet she still so far away

2009-06-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

these few days either busy with work or spending time with my brothers
i met a new friend is a she and she is quite fun to be disturb lol but things always turn someone different so ya hope she is alright lorr...yesterday when i dig into my drawer i found a lot of stuff including stuff like i didn't want to mention as i will be sad...so ya today have to work but she is off lol so cannot disturb haiz sadded hahha

2009-06-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

time flies..these two photo are both in my ite life...
on the left is during my first year doing turning
on the right it is a photo including me and jia jun talking a lot of stuff
somethings getting better and better but somethings not moving anywhere
perhaps when times goes by it could change things around...
people in this world are cruel you won't get a second chance after you did a mistake
even through singapore have yellow ribbon a 2nd chance for the prisoner...than how about me
just a mistake shot me through...i am so disappointed in that life of mine right now
no matter how much i done..you ppl are just a cruel son of a bitch...
opps sorry...its the fact that some ppl holding a degree or holding a high position in that school always have that same attitude...i hate that school...curse you...

2009-06-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday i had so much fun with two of my brothers..we went to arcade..and had our dinner at park mall one of the serve buffet type of restaurant...so ya we had beer thats nice...
anyone wants to go to party this june 16? as there is some sort of uniform party coming in

2009-06-01T22:44:00.000-07:00

these few days i was too busy with work and studies due to exam..
i try my best to update more..

2009-05-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

past few days i was very busy as i have to study and work even through thats busy at least there's is something for me to do rather than i spend time doing nothing lorr...
hahaa

2009-05-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

these few days i could felt the relive,when i am not with her
as i think she is just a nothing on the inside except for her beauty in the outside
right am i right to say that...she is just a apple with a worm in the inside eeee
and thats why her name also start with the letter E
her english maybe good her studies maybe good but her attitude and her personality are worse than a primary school standard...she may have all the world to support her but they only support the surface part not her inside...as she has the beauty of a apple but inside...is a ugly as a worm...thats why i felt nice and peaceful after had this relationship ended earlier haha...she can say i am flirt, watever i am, yes i know i could understand her stand as she is just not a grown up girl...just some primary school girl thinking...
i felt so good after saying this lol she is just someone that is not fully grown brain thats all i could understand that why...singapore always have some special school made for this type of person such as her to enter...(Special as in not a clever kid)

2009-05-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

Today was just some day too hahaha...
woke up at 6.45am as yesterday i was came back home from work very late so ya
oh ya sorry bro it is not easy to ask her for number as she is the promoter not with us so ask number not easy lorr haha....so ya today was damn sian having class for a while than finish early went to plaza sing with yujun,gary,jia loon and emil...hahaha i helped yujun a lot sometime i KS him hahaha sorry man haha...so sorry guys i didn't mean to be so fast de lorrr hahaha...so ya after that we went to watch night in the museum 2 haha such a nice show so ya after that i went home lol camp at home..emo at home..playing some games lol red alert 3 lol haha...To lindy : hope you are ok lol...i don't know what happen to you today but hope everything is alright k..hope to hear from you soon jie jie...
sian tml i have to work haha but ya hate to work at weekend lol as there is a lot of ppl lol haha no choice lol...sorry bro that i didn't want to come out as i am super tired after the working lol sorry man next time my treat to pub k sorry hahaha
that is all...must sleep early tml got work bye....

2009-05-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

Today was just a new day...a new fresh start...haha
My life turn to another chapter...
now my life is getting better and better...with or without npcc lol
during npcc i never get to mix with my friends that much and now i did haha
today had test in the morning..followed by presentation in the afternoon
after that i went to plaza sing to play lol hahaha super fun met new friends...
so ya i went to work at ang mo kio than songrui spotted me...he just gave me a call and he asked me if i am working at zone X lol and ya he found me lol hahaha...than he crack all sort of qns lol hahaha...after that ya lol...met new friends too at zone X at maxium tune lol hahaha....
bye tml will update more k bye

2009-05-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

hey later i update more......
please if you want to leave than just leave ok ...the exit is right there ...i don't even care...
ok don't keep shooting at my cbox....
i will not bother you again...
i have nothing lose liao right now bye
lets forget about her life goes on with or without her is still the same
yup later i will update more when i reach home from work lol k

2009-05-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

it is just a busy day for me lol i went to school for test haha as usual
than after that i went home to have a rest pa...
went to work haha today i am doing counter oh shit i have less 70cents
haha i have it hahaha...so ya lol if you see my Cbox...you can understand wat happen liao
even through it was a past that i send sort of love sms to her...all is a past...
did you ever see me in a that state of mind that is depression...no right...
when i did i didn't want you to be back by my side...no you didn't....
you didn't bother to sms me...all you just to keep saying that i am just a promisebreaker..
did you ever asked yourself when is the last time you ever talk to me WHEN!!!
i did say that i am waiting for you...i am just treating my close friend as my buddy as my dustbin...just sms my close one...only......when did you ever care about my feeling from the day you decided not to talk to me ??......that day you finally sms me...i am so happy i am so excited i felt i am so happy yet...what did you asked when is atc wth....than after that you vanished in this world...how many times did i ever tried to contact you....sms you msn you calling you...going to your house every morning at 6.30 looking if you are going to school...after my school at 4 looking if you are coming back...this thing is not surppose to say but i will just say it out now........

3word its too late

2009-05-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

this can be mine memories that have been in placed me...i never took off this ring as it resemble a spacial person...this ring will follow me whatever i go...but can i do....
because i am born with a lonely life...i see people walk away from me...i see people died infront of me..i see myself a lonely life...people do ask me why am i so secretive i can't answer them as i don't trust on anyone including myself......i tried talking to her but ya you guys should know what is the outcome...either too bad or too late...thats why i am born with this lonely life lol the more i think the more i agree to it...i am just a person who can see further than people..i am just want a simple life a simple relationship a simple heart a simple lifestyle a simple body...
why is this so hard to accomplish ? i just love her but she wouldn't listen...i sms her and so on she wouldn't want to sms etc....when there is a chance that to patch wtf she just saw the stupid post of mine....please lol i am just treating her as my jie jie lol she take care about me lol...maybe just close friend...as what you say its too late....no matter what i did...its always 3 word its too late........

2009-05-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

there is a some misunderstanding between love and like...
as i care very much about the person, i care about everyone,
i want to patch up but can i ?...no i don't think so...as i hurt someone to the max le
even this ring never leave my finger as i felt it is kind of lucky...and i love that person who made with me....but ya there is still misunderstanding...so ya these few days i was working for zone x at ang mo kio...quite fun too but i tried not to create trouble lol
bye later i got work update later on

2009-05-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

These dew day i was just busy both studies and working too...but ya currently didn't want to go back to my unit in npcc anymore...so i have a lot of time...such as hang out with my classmate lol...talking to friends close friends or best friends without no worry hahha...thats good hahaha..so ya these few days..i been smsing with my childhood friend alyssa...i been like her quite a while as only she can make me sms a lot hahaha...but ya don't know how she felt, as i hope i won't be just the previous relationship lol hahaha....me very tired so update later...

2009-05-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was just another day of my working day at zone x haha...i reach at the place at 10 sharp enter it and just clean everything than xiao hui do the set up and i just camp at the cashier liao hahaha sorry....

so she teaches me how to settle stuff in cashier yup..after that i camp there and help out on the side when doing the SMIP or nebo card lol haha...so ya it is fun...joann told me that i am the second only guy in this arcade

i was shock hahaha...thats ok....so ya yesterday quite busy...sorry for not replying your sms sorry....and ya don't emo la...just because you broke up with your boyfriend doesn't its end of the world liao ma...if like that i also lol...but why i didn't...because i said to myself that she wouldn't care if i die for her as we already broke up liao lol...so ya lol cheer up lorrr....back to the story of mine ya...after that i rush to tan tock seng to see mine grandfather lol after that i went to glen eagles hospital to see my mother,than went to changi hospital to see my uncle...wow 3 hospital in a row hahaha....

bye later i will update more lol if i can lorrr

today no work so happy hahaha

2009-05-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

that is hakim and cedric in audtiorium haha

that was taken on tuesday pa hahaha so ya they crap a lot

yesterday i had the most surpise from my teacher that there is a test right now

wtf i heard that there is a test than nvm...and than ndt test haiz

i hope it score well lol so ya today ndt but i left early because i am fetching my mother as she got check up before her operation tomorrow lol so ya before that

On your left is a us air mail and on your right is HongKong airmail

eh bro, you are just an idiot who send me this us express airmail and it takes my days

to get that card of yours...do you know it is very long forget it

oh ya they manage to gave me this so ya i thanks alot..as it really brighten my life

at least i will leave that shadow of mine behide le, so i took their maxium tune card for a run

and i score quite well and i love it hahaha....so ya today was my first day of my work in zone x

i love it,but it maybe boring as i really have nothing much to do but ya quite good as i don't have to do much hahaha so ya i get to know quite a lot of ppl,one is simin,jane,joann there is still more ppl but i forgotten their name sorry hahaha....so ya i do miss you but what can i do!!!

bye tml i still got work at 10am till 5 pm lol so tired i want to go sleep le haha

2009-05-13T03:03:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to talk about for today
oh well there is something that i want to say to her

i am not a good boyfriend i cannot be the man to help you

sorry i shall take my leave...I am sad,I am heartbroken,I down

and you don't even want to ask me anything...maybe just what from everyone says you don't love me

maybe pa....all you want to ask is that when is atc wtf...to you npcc is important than me arr

fine so ya i shall take my leave...i shall depart from you bye...take care of yourself

i am leaving for greater good for you good bye my love

1st day without her by my side haiz

2009-05-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

today was just some day maybe a tiring day...
woke up at 2 plus...still thinking why i couldn't sleep till 6 plus in the morning
just slack and slack till 5 plus..start to become like a cat....
than ya i skip pe i didn't want to go..i am not in a mood to go for pe
so i went to singpost pick my gift from my friend at oversea as he pass me this stuff by mail
and ya nothing much just some loving picture that he took in usa...at nature photo...and he sent me his maxium tune card as he said this ''i know that you are down no mood to do all the stuff,i shall give you my card, it shall accompany during you are bored or even shedd tears''... thks bro
suddenly i receive this call from my another bro that he sent his cards to me too..
i been thinking why everyone send me maxium tune card rather than just normal card??
maybe the fashion have change le pa....
so ya went to lifeskill looking at someone i hate in this world
oh ya i sms my baobei,good morning as even she don't treat me as her boyfriend but i will still treat her as my girlfriend de....back to the story
went to plaza sing went to play maxium tune spend 1 hrs plus haha
so ya went back to school on the way back at boon keng station
my classmate went rampage around the station because of some girls diao...
even when they asked me to help them with their problem such as asking the girls who is this name
i told them i don't want as my heart have already had esther no one can change that so i just say no
so ya they just anyhow talk cock with them so ya wasted half an hour....so went back to school
for lecture after the lecture stupid son of a bitch ask my classmate to say me i am a gay and says a lot of stuff..i didn't angry at all sio...this is what i think....he is just son of a bitch that have no balls to scold me instead he use someone to help him do the talking...ya even my friend says that too...i already don't give the damn to him le as he don't have my respect to him...i only treat him as a small kid as he love to do small kid stuff such as take someone bag and than hide...this is small kid do right am i right to says that...you maybe good at sms but i didn't see that you are a grown up man as you got the brain to prank people no brain to be a mature man....you are too a show off...even you says that i don't have car fine i don't give the damn as i have my facts on it...only a dumb son of a bitch like yourself will tell what kind of parts do you have in your car.....
do you know some word like ''confidential'' oh ya i don't think so as you are still a small kid so still inmature..
i can understand that...so ya my anger is finish liao
back after the lecture emil and me went to ang mo kio..as emil wants to see his gf...so touching
but when can i see my girlfriend again sio haiz...stupid jia jun suddenly fly my aeroplane KNN
never mind next time if i see him he will get shot by me lol...
i went to ang mo kio to apply for job...soon or later i will be working liao
i love you esther please give me a chance...
if you are angry you can whack me,pinch me,do watever you want...i rather you do that than bu li wor....
i didn't want to leave you.....
please .....

My life is only have black and white
no other colour
i hope you can come back to me

please don't kick me away

2009-05-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

Today woke up at 3 am i couldn't sleep longer i don't know why
than i turn on my computer than looking my darling blog nothing much happen
than lie down relax till 5 plus do some push up and start my day with a mood same as this picture here
my mood is like this,dark in most area but rainbow hope for esther will come back to me
i am damn sian no mood to go to school...manage to finish everything except for project lol
went to a gift shop bought a card and than i heard this song Taylor Swift - Love Story
wth this is me and esther song...this song which brought us together
i was so happy but the mood came back
i started to felt despair...i just want esther to come back to me
stop running away from me please i beg you
how much you try to avoid me,i will just wait for you
i couldn't bring my soul,brain,arms,hands,legs,heart away with me
because my soul follows esther everywhere,my arms won't listen to me only esther have the power to do it
my hands is caught with her hands, my leg only walk as in no injury is only when i am with her
my heart have already left with her the moment she capture it....
please lao po don't leave me please i shedd some tears when you say you wants to leave me...and you told me to find another girl that my family will accept
please lao po...listen to me
i will married with her not my parent will,i married someone that i love not them, i love her i want to be with her not them, i want to kiss you not they can stop it, i want to love you more not that they can stop, i want to hug you not they can stop it.....please i just want you to support me
i just need you pei me this journey
please do not kick to another girl
i am not a product, I SAY I WANT TO LOVE YOU MEANS I WANT TO LOVE YOU,I SAY THAT YOU ARE MINE MEANS YOU ARE MINE FOREVER,I SAY THAT YOU BE MY LAO PO MEANS YOU WILL BE MINE LAO PO
OK please...talk to me ,msn with me ,sms me ,call me , love me k dear
don't kick me away please

happy mothers day

2009-05-10T05:25:00.000-07:00

Today is Mothers day...woke up at 9plus...turn on my msn and go to my blog..
hope if there's any turnout but too bad nothing so ya maybe i just wait for her to finish her paper lorr
back to my own story...just slacking around till 1 plus...my dad asked me whether if i want to go out with them (dad,mom) by right i didn't want to accompany them, but i think that no matter how much i miss her, but still there's will not have anything turn out, so ya i just accompany them go out lol so ya i accompany them to tampines mall, half way through the journey i was just emoing...you know...so when i reach there i went to zinc shop my dad bought a bag for me haha thks dad...
so walk walk around till my sis came with her dog and my sister husband...
this is the dog...nice right hahaha thats remind me about the starhub dog hahaha
so i joke with her if i bring this dog up to the starhub shop than ask for discount can a not??
hahaha cold joke hahaha so ya accompany my family to the Changi Hospital
see my uncle...wow i can see a lot of tube in and out of him and even worse that he show me his wound wtf
eeeeeeeee...after that i went home lol.....so ya blog a bit than after the time past and sleep than tml will come lol haiz chiong all my workpiece....hope my dear will talk to me again....seriously miss her in person but ya i am in the fault lol...haiz

2009-05-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

The past 2 days i am searching for my soul and my heart who lost in the wild...
i didn't talk to people sharing of problem to people, it was happen that my bro saw my blog and wrote in my tag box..i was just staying at home doing nothing....i don't wish to see the world what its look like now...
i just want my xiao mao back...
Please give me another chance
We can make things the same
Bring those days back again
All I need is just one chance
All the wonderful moments spent together
We could keep holding on forever
The moments spent in sun and rain
We can bring them back all again
I love you with all my heart
What I just cant do is part
Let us bring back our lost time
I promise everything will be fine
Let me hold you again
I’ll take away all your pain
All I ask is for another chance
Just look at me and give me a chance
You can trust me all right
I promise you never again will we fight
Forget the harsh words and come out of the dark moods
Show me your lovely smile
That same one at least for a while
Don’t break my heart
It’ll tear me apart
I can never ever leave you
‘Cos darling I truly love you
There’s a vacuum in every heart
But you’ll not find that in mine
‘Cos in every bit and every part
You’ll find your portrait shine
You can’t be so unkind
Walking away leaving me behind
Trust me again
Give me your hand
Deep inside I feel the pain
Of a broken heart that needs to be mend
Its only you who can heal
And change the way I feel
I know I’ve hurt you and made your heart pain too
Give me another chance
I’ll take away the darkness from your life
My heart aches if you cry
Please wipe those tears dry
Let this dark night get over
And let a new morning enter our lives
I want to show you how much I care
I want you back at any cost
Our love cannot be come the past
Please o please let me try again
I can take away all your pain
All i ask is one more chance
Just a chance… A mere chance
but ya i do understand...if you didn't want to talk to me anymore....
i am just too worried for you
care for you...if you are not the one who i love the most i wouldn't care for you
i am not the person whom always open to everyone..i just care for you
yet you just bu li wo...so ya maybe i am just a idiot who wants to take care of you
i already said that i love you,almost everyday send you stuff but i didn't expect anything to come back to me
just hope you are happy just hope you can say i love you but i can't see it anymore
all i just see the path is getting more darker each time i try...you may seem that i am a irrating person
i want to care about you more...but did my care ever enter into yr heart ?
i don't know.....
i am just want to see you love me but it still more than i expect it should be

bye i'm going to sleep

2009-05-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

Second part of the update is here...everything there's is up and down...my feeling to you will never ever change at all...i may have ex but most of them cannot compare to you...you are the perfect one...
when i care for you, can you care for me back ? at least ?? can you at least tell where are you going to later so that i won't clueless when i was asked about it?...you can don't care about me...no feeling for me...trying to avoid me..but let me say this to you...i care about you...i have feeling for you...i won't let you avoid me...
oh...this song that i pick and placed it to play in the blog..its because i found that it touched my heart...this song when you see the lyrics you should understand why....
You're in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on

For only two

So close together

And when I'm with you

So close to feeling alive

A life goes by

Romantic dreams must die

So I bid mine goodbye

And never knew

So close was waiting

Waiting here with you

And now, forever, I know

All that I wanted to hold you

So close

So close to reaching

That famous happy end

Almost believing

This one's not pretend

Now you're beside me

And look how far we've come

So far

We are

So close

Oh, how could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We're so close to reaching

That famous happy end

Almost believing

This *was not* pretend

Let's go on dreaming

Though we know we are

So close

So close, and still

So far
ya if you want to go out with your friends just go ahead..i have nothing to objection about i am in no position to do that...just remember i am here for you please do think of me when you are in need of help as i am yr bf
please do not forget that...bye...love her so much but no one will love me back...just i am the only one who
zi lian one corner

the last thing i want to say is that the sms i hope you will receive that but if not than i shall tell you that
''i hope you are still using this number...i came to sms you that i still love you dear...i know you still got art to do and other subject to revise so i kept this sms short and sweet...
the story i put in the blog its concern only me to you but i just change the name so that no one knows...
i love you....i miss your pinch, i miss your slap, imiss your hands, i miss your hug, i miss your kiss, i miss every single part of you..without your love...it seem that my life turn to black and white no other colour...looking at the traffic light...when can i have the green light from you?..looking at the sky...looking at the plane taking off...when is your heart coming back to me and when is my heart going to place landing at yr heart..just hope after the exam we could be more closer than ever in the history of mankind...
bye going off

2009-05-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

Today nothing much happen just came to my brother lan shop camp there lol
because i been bored and being neglected by things happening around me
just hope to see her soon, but its not easy to meet her as she is busy with her studies,her problem,her friends,her exam,her arts....i am just standing a little in the position...in somewhere.....just ya i don't know.....just feeling down and than i go find my brothers to hang out with them....hope to hear from her la...bye update soon

2009-05-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

Just thought of posting somethings up lol
hmm today morning just sms a lot of people...cos i was bored so on
just think to keep myself accompany lol maybe tml going to my brothers lan shop to camp there lol..
there is a story that i want to tell today
there was a day a guy call david and a girl call ariel
they are a couple for 1 month plus
they used to be very close very close till david fall in love with Ariel deeper each day goes by
something happen landed David into trouble
ariel was guilty about it...but david didn't put it into his mind that its Ariel fault
than as time goes by...david family found out the trouble that David do...they ask him to stay away from Ariel but he can't do it as he felt that himself already fall in love with her very deep..so David secretly continue the relationship with her...so as times past...the trouble he made has solve?...he notice Ariel and him their distance is farther and farther....so he try to close up the distance but he got time that he have to reach home...he use msn and sms to talk to her and Ariel seem to be busy ok...so he try to call her and she hang up the phone...so david find it very weird so he dash back to his house...open his blog and enter his darling blog...when he read and read...he felt that airel is committing some foolish things...he try to call her,sms,msn but still no news...next following day...he ask one of her sister wat happen to ariel and so on....than david made his way to ariel house knocking at her house no one reply...he made his way to the place that usually ariel might go such as, boon keng , yishun , geylang , city hall , suntec , marina square etc...but still no news about her and david getting more worried each minute...when suddenly he received a call from one of ariel friends asking about wat happen to her....david just say to her try to contact all ariel friends if they see her...and david went on searching for her.....when he reach home at 9 plus...and found out that she is at her house all along...he was glad that nothing happen to her...than following day he try to contact her..ariel seem to be away and away...till monday...when david kept himself there for her...but ariel seem to be neglecting david but david didn't say anything and hope she could tells him everything.....but now david is still remain the same being a 24-7 bf...sms her good morning sms and good nite sms...all daivd hope is that ariel can reply his sms more...but things cannot turnout that david expect for but he try to love ariel more but he has no place to take a rest as loving a person is not easy as he have to keep ariel accompany sightly and worried if her DM got do anything to her etc....as ariel didn't sms david that much...so david ask can anyone help him ?
tell him what to do ???

2009-05-07T03:41:00.000-07:00

Today was just some normal day lol
sian i kena debarment form
stating that i am having 89% attendance, my teacher said that its ok i still could appeal as
i just skip 1 or 2 lesson, so ya lol i hope later i could talk to my mom and hope she won't angry
hahaha...today i send my dear sms a good morning sms...and guess wat she finally reply i was so happy
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
at last she reply something its a good start lol hahaha
but i hope our distance can closer and closer that we used to be and no more 24/04/09
no more le hahaha and we can start a fresh new start and lie low after everything i will slowly intro myself to yr family k slowly takes time lorrr....everything may not be sweet at first but slowly at the back it will be sweet
i promise i will not have the hot tamper on anything anymore...k i swear to god

2009-05-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Today was a quite a nice day but not a kind day too
simple phrase to put for today
just some idiot who was deserve to get that punishment from god
as he was punish by some hydraulic oil fly towards his hair
he deserve it lol...i don't have to settle him myself..such as finding trouble with him
even through i myself have trouble going on too...
but today was the 1st one week i ever see her...who say i don't miss her lol i miss her like siao
but i wonder do she miss me at all ?? i hope you miss me...
but ya i cannot ask this question ma.....
yes i want her to know that i miss her a lot...hope to see her soon but ya i don't know if she wants to see me a not?? and yes i have done something wrong but all i can say that i am a faithful person...
just hope she can sms more things rather than keep trying to end my conversation lol haiz too bad i don't know she can a not haiz
everything have back on track but our relationship hasn't been in moving back on track...yes i an trying my best to love and care for you... could you just sms me first rather than i sms you first right in the morning ???

2009-05-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Thought of posting one more post pa
been thinking, i keep getting the feeling that both of us distance is getting farther
each day goes by...i could understand that she is having exam,her life problem.. i know
everything i know but the least i could do was to sms the good morning sms only what...
but i not sure this path will lead us to where
she maybe busy but i started to feel that she neglected me once again but thats ok
i could understand that as she is not like the normal tech ppl
express ppl very busy de....i just have to keep myself accompany with other things
such as going to do the things i always do for passing my time lol
but i think that the least that she could do at least tells me that she is having this exam so and so
at least she inform thats ok...but i could understand its hard for her to do that....
than i shall keep being a 24-7 bf for her la...
--------------------------------------------
these few day i may not be even a post up as i don't want to keep posting things up about negative stuff about my relationship la....
the ring that we bought is the only which keep me accompany since the time we bought this ring together
but this ring still a ring....not a person ok i want to see her...i want to hug her...i want to give her my kiss
but ya its impossible too...as i am a failure in relationship...
because i a person that people care for me and i will care for him/her 10 times the amount that him/her give me...i am stupid ok.....
-------------------------------
i just hope her studies will at least pass lorr
---------------------
don't wish to say anymore...tml will be a better day

2009-05-05T03:35:00.000-07:00

Today was just some quiet day i met lol
waking up at 4plus checking up on my inbox,my tag box,my email etc..
but there is nothing haiz sadded but i so sorry Shaz-reeN that i accidentally spam your cbox
i suggest that you should change another cbox...due to the lacking of the cbox
sorry..today thought of going to school early but its raining...too bad....slack till 6plus before stepping out
the first thing when i wake up is to sms her...i am wondering if she got receive my sms??....but i cannot jump to conclusion lorr...than ya go to school i have to take temperature haiz troublesome lol...
just went to play soccer with the malays with my classmate jia loong...have fun till like....
go to lifeskill slack around...going to plaza sing...eat burger king..eeeee the mushroom burger not nice lol..
but the fries is nice..both positive and negative....during the day i miss her, during the night i think of her..
i been asking god ''why do you want to crack a joke on us , on this couple why??''
is it fate or destiny?...is it a test??...no one knows....haiz....
please give me a answer now!!
you have taken back the ability......you have brought down upon me last time...
i have already kneel down upon you...i just want this relationship to continue...
you already have taken a lot of things from me...
i lost almost everything...you already throw me back to my old self..
and what the hell you want me to do...i just love her...i don't want to leave her.....
i know what is love
love is to Accepting, Appreciating , Wanting Another to Feel Good
yes i am trying to change to a better person but it takes time
than how about the girl i love...
what do she expect me to do??
how can i win her back to me...
my brother joe may notice a lot of things during the whole process itself
i can be as caring as {123}
i can be as nice as {456}
i can be as lovely as {789}
but if the person doesn't open the door i couldn't talk anything much
the number is {0}
if people open up to me i can speak a lot of things instead of question right after question...
if people doesn't open up to talk...i can't do anything just asking the same question again and again
{open up} means speak to his/her bottom of his/her heart such as what happen today, why you are unhappy,is there anything bothering you and so on
i maybe no position to ask you to do that....yes i am just a bore person who don't understand that much of body language...

that all for today
hope for a better tml
everything could change for a better

empty of night

2009-05-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

Today just some common day that i have ever past but something felt different this time??
felt something missing??.. i don't know?
_________________________________
woke up at half plus 3 staring my ceiling...dreaming and thinking....
felt everything is getting ready to start my day but my heart doesn't seem to be ready...
distance can chase back...her feeling to me can find back...mood can find back...
everything can be done...but something there's still meant to have border...
the border i am facing now is that....finding the key to her heart once again...
this process might be hard for people but still i manage to hang on...
everyday i am searching for the key...hopefully i could unlock the lock at the center of her heart pa
_________________________________
oh ya today i manage to chiong 2 workpiece haha but ya there's times of happiness but there's times to be down....yes i agree....you may look that i am happy with the things that i am going through but deep down..
i maybe sad or angry....but everytime when i try to speak up...usually ppl will intend to walk away from me
so i try to isolate myself....eventhrough my phone may get empty of sms...thats ok....i got myself...i could accompany myself in everything i am going.....
{oh i wish she have the best result in mid year exam}
hope she could tell me everything bottom of her heart what is she thinking,what is happening to her....
but ya everything just wait for her to finish her exam....
{if you manage to see this post please do not be angry, i am just speaking bottom of my heart}
_____________________________

2009-05-03T03:58:00.000-07:00

Today was still a nice day except for small matters...
which is everytime when someone wishes to sleep longer please don't call ok
miss ivy...xiao jie you don't want to sleep doesn't mean i don't have to sleep too lol
haiz i was force to woke up 9.15am...but still day starting without my dearest girl
just thinking what is she doing,is she ok,do she need my accompany? ya thats should be all
as usual for the past few days...i love to see her smile again,seeing her happy that will greatly improve my days...i cannot be greedy hope for something like she will hug me or give me a kiss lorr...maybe i watched too much show like what she says too i watch too much serial show haha..if thats happen i also don't know what to react too...Ps maybe i daydream too much le...

so ya went to CBD walking around with my brother eddie and his gf...
i am so extra, i shouldn't came out with them but too bad both of them asked me to go out...
as they asked me about my being such as how am i doing and so on..so i show them me and her photo
both of them were startled by it...they say its cute little couple..i like wtf...haha but i can take it as a compliment haha...but ya to me things are getting better....
i still wearing the ring that we are bought together...
i don't know why this ring always its in my finger no matter what happen lol
everything maybe lost but our ring will not lost..its like i could felt the ring represent her haha
haiz just now i did pass by starbuck for more than 10 times but i forgotten to buy camnel
{i hope its correct spelling}
i miss that drink haha..coz everytime i bought it there is a memory flowing out of my mind
that is...the time that i spend with her, the one at jurong point and CBD area..
Ps look here there is some ppl might be blur who is the she...
just let you ppl to guess it out...
so ya i end my post here bye

2009-05-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

Things are getting better for her, i am glad i am happy for her,
there is a phrase that this goes, if you love the person, you don't have to have her body/heart/to be there for her...just seeing her happy this should make my day...as people maybe depression of running away like my own too....but i still stand up to it....
i am just happy for her...everything should be going fine now...i just let her finish her exam first than we talk again pa...myself have to study also le....
just hope everything turn out good for her lol...as she is my only girl that i love....

2009-05-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

The past two days i was troubled in my life, hope that she won't commit any silly things as some people wanted to live but they can't...i love her but i don't know if she knows?.... some people may ask why i still love her ? i told her its because she may not be as caring as other people as due to some reason...i love her and all i want to see her get up on feet...no matter how hard the path maybe...i will be there for you...accompany you..take care of you...correct you to the proper path...oh ya there is somethings that i suppose to tell that is my ex girlfriend died at 30 April 2006 due to car accident its been 3 years...don't worry i already get over her...i just don't want you to leave me alone in this world..i just want you to accompany me and i shall accompany you during this journey til we are both old ok..... there is something i want to share about today....

My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.

Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.

One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl's scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.

It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.

Janet's description of her husband begins thus: "Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me."

Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favourite restaurant.

He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.

"Helped me when I was ill," the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is -- almost -- as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn't hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.

"Forgave me a lot."

"Stood by my side."

And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thougtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."

The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me whe she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."

2009-04-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

Your eyes
which first held me captivated
where I stood.
Your smile
to dazzle the sun
and warm every corner of my soul.
Your voice
like a sparkling mountain stream
which flows into my heart.
Your walk
and the way your gracefulness
takes my breath away.
Your hair
about which I dreamed
cascading into my face
as you leaned over me.
Your hands
whose caress I crave
to hold my face
in their tenderness.
Your arms
I long to have around my neck
as you pull me close
to your warmth.
Most of all
everything you are
changed the way I feel about my life.
I love you.

My heart aches within from missing you,
My lips long for the feel of kissing you,
Right now all I need is to gently touch your skin,
To look into your eyes and see deep within,
Just one warm embrace,
Just to look upon your face,
Just one little touch,
From the one I love so much,
If I could gaze upon your smile,
For just a little while,
To know that you miss me too,
As I'm thinking of you,

To hear the sound of you breathe,
Knowing you'll never leave,
To see you walk up to me,
Then embrace you tenderly,
To just be with the one who's sent my heart reeling,
And brought about this downpour of emotion and feeling,
*And pray that somehow this all turns out right,
I've never been one to do more taking than giving,
*I've told you many thoughts that weren't borrowed or bought,
And in lifetime, who would have thought,
That I have found someone who was just meant for me,
I can't explain the magic or why this should be,
But there is one thing that I know for certain,
That this just ain't over till one of us draws the final curtain,
For I've seen an angel and I want you to know,
If it's my choice to make, I'll never let you go,
Don't know what life holds, maybe there's no reason or rhyme,
To think you may be mine in a matter of time,
And though I cannot touch you and we are now apart,
My Love, you do dwell, so deep within my heart.

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "love you so much,I Love You"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.
*Your lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
My heart beats within your chest

I think of you each morning
And dream of you each night
I think of your arms being around me
And cannot express my delight

Never have I fallen
But I am quickly on my way
You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away

please don't leave me,everything that i do always have you with me..i cannot forget you i can't
you already have my heart,you have my soul,you have my body,how to forget you,even if you return back to me.my whole entire body including everything will not leave you...i maybe a dumb...in words but all i want is that you can be the one with me share the problem with me in term of action...rather than you hide the feeling when we met...i didn't want to end this...no matter who is the one who break us up...even they tried but they will not be successful.........
i already put a stamp on you stating that you are mine forever...why you trying to run away ?
please dear i may not to be there for you sometime...but i still want you to be my forever, my wife ok i want you to be my wife next time no matter wat happen.....

2009-04-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

Today just didn't want to blog that much as no one would see either
if there's people see my blog also never tag something he/she is just idiot
a jerk, as i said do tag...but no one ever did.....
today just bad day as well......
to think that friends will be there for you when you in need of help yes they do but
after that they will intend to keep saying because of his/her credit...
end of story....
today when i was in town area, i went to a shop which sold album and album of songs
and i heard this song 依琳陶喆-今天你要嫁给我, i suddenly remember that song and
this shop...but ya everything is a past too....but i could say this song very special to me...
sometime i miss the song too......
at night my sister treat me with dinner but i didn't eat much...but i just try to eat abit my sister talk to me and cheer me up too thks sis...

2009-04-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

so long never blog le
i don know wat to blog as my life is total mess up....
so ya thats it....
just hope my life can back to normal
i don want to be like this no more
and please god give me a chance
if everything back to normal i will go to oversea and live there forever

THE DARKEST DAYS IN MY LIFE

2009-04-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

The darkest Days in my life
bad things keep coming out from nowhere
wait this and that, what the hell is a relationship gonna to do with this
never mind...i already done it, what can i do, i already repay it
i know i maybe stupid, but did you ever seen yourself a empty wallet
when you try to find some part time job but they just give you an empty promise
nvm thats ok i can go with that...when the hell can i ask things from ?
from who ? all reply is either head freeze or other stupid reason i will receive
haiz never mind....when the hell relationship is a another thing but never mind
everyone happy now i break with her i already be single
oh ya i already not in friendster or facebook don't bother asking me why
{non ho più neanche una lira}
wat do you want me to do now.....
its like Fate against Will right now
Fate against Destiny
Fate against Love
thats why i got this song
love story by taylor swift
this song is our songs our situation is the same but now everything is already nothing matter
why do you all have to force me do this
please don't force me anymore or else i will find a alt ways
singapore is a world trade country and why are we still have law and rule to everything
including relationship......does it makes singaporean felt control ?...it like the choice
the goverment have choose for ppl le you don't have to think just follow the path that was build....

2009-04-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

today was quite tiring days
wake up at 10 plus due to some bitch go and call me and KPKB me
leature me haiz very sad than kena leature till 11.45 lol
than ya talk to my lao po
i can feel that she is not ok...maybe abt that one lorrr
so ya i think its better that i pei her lol
so ya slack a bit study a bit lol hahaha
than go to her hse lol slack till 12 plus
lao po if you saw this post of mine
don't worry everything will be ook de lorr
cheer up lorrr everything will be ok de lorrr love you so much

2009-04-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

Today quite a very tiring day coz my brother joe came to my hse to camp last night lorrr
we played a lot of games hahha so ya we played till 3 plus hahahah drank some beer martell xo hahaha power before we sleep
than ya back to the story today i woke up at 11am head so pain hahah than slack all the way til 2 plus mean while i slack i am trying to repair the internet in my computer and joe played my games hahha
so ya we step out from my house at 3 plus than head down to compass point to buy my prepaid card for my darling lao po as her phone kena conficated by the school DM lan jiao knn stupid girl she tried to drag us apart so knn right...next time yr son or yr daughter conform suffer lol hahha
knn you better don't anymore spread the news lorr once you spread i make sure you suffer ok knn back to the story just found my lao po number than head down to boon keng and gave my lao po a surpise hahaha than ya lol we slack a bit than head down to buy my dinner lol and we bought beer hahaha but i don know she is trying to run away haha but lao po if you see this post of mine please don't run away from reality as you still got me you can still relay on me
if you sad you can go and lie down on my shoulder...maybe my shoulder maybe too sharp for you but you can still lie on it... k love you so much k don't run away than how am i going to find you...i won't give up on this relationship and you shouldn't have that idea too lol do you understand ??? no matter wat problem/obstacle/wall...infront of us we will break through no matter wat k

mine is the black one and hers is the heineken hahha
i too power liao 2 day drink so muach i think tml i have to do more sit up liao hahaha
k la i go sleep as i a bit drunk too liao hope ppl would understand wat i feel today lorrrr

2009-04-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

Today i am very sad haiz
there is mistake that ppl might done even during war time the general may made a mistake as he usually think of the big picture but not the small picture lol.......
Dear baobei it may seem that the obstacle we are facing are difficult to cross but as long as we got each other we sure can overcome it de lorrr i know it haha.... i know that god are testing on our relationship i hope that there will be one day you can be my wife but too that day...i will not give up de and so you please don't give up too....don't sad le lorrr...i spend quite a forture to settle the problem...even i have no money or i lose everything i know that i still got you....i may ask you something can you be with me forever....as we went through so much le....
please?? k end here lol.........

1st day without her and i am so piss off

2009-04-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

Today just a day i am very sad haiz
i don wish to say it just a big suck day
the day i wouldn't forget it
that the day that i have to keep distance because of some ppl mouth and their mouth never stop closing de.......the male and female i am refering to are very big mouth please when you see this post of mine please reflect to yourself..do you like it when ppl keep spreading that you stead with her ??? eventhrough you wan a low profile relationship as there is some rule there stated ok please think about it
and ya i may do something that unreasonable to you but you don have to shoot my baobei right if you not happy just talk to me infront....don be a girl please.....and yes you maybe a person that have only the word play in the thick skull of yours.....but did you ever think about it before you say???the answer is NO.......please arrr go and start thinking in the thick skull of yours ok

1 month of relationship 22/04/09

2009-04-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today woke up at half past 5 hahaha start my slacking at my bed till 6 plus
as usual brush my teeth than eat 1 piece of bread and bath than finally go to school
hahaha but in a process i was helping my baobei to print her art stuff hahaha pro right in the morning help her hahaha...than my printer very guai it print everything out without no error or driver error hahha maybe even my printer love her too hahah
than ya i have class for hydraulics so ya the person i @*^@*$#!*&%^$ the most is there too
go guess it out who is it....than ya during breaktime i went out with my bro joe than he just speak with me a lot of sad stuff lol.....after that i go back to class liao till 11 plus wait for emil gary and yujun than accompany them till plaza sing than i played max tune hahaha guess wat someone ask me if i am chonglim than wat can i say of course ya...he said that ''do you still remember me ?? than suddenly cross my mind that is him oh ya is him the one whom i work with the ncc ppl lol hahaha.............nvm lazy to type so long
after that i went to take 65 all the way down to macpherson secondary wait for my baobei haha so ya .....after that we went to aljunied mrt station and made our way down to vivo city...we watched 17again
very funny hahaha a 17yearold asked another 17 yr old to do not go out with that guy hahaha
oh ya after that we slack at the garden hahaha

i don know why she yell hahaha but very cute lol isn't cute hahaha love her so much

suddenly she kiss me hahaha oh my god i was shock hahaha my process to slow liao hahaha i should kiss liao hahaha k la than i do this

power right hahaha.......hahaha she once told me that left handed ppl very few only 4% in 6billion hhaha wow than i am so damn lucky to find her hahaha
than we went home liao till 10plus

i am so lazy to go back liao but no choice hahaha so ya when i am walking quite a distance i suddenly remember that i forgotten to give her the printing paper hahaha than i call her and tell her lol...she so cute the way she is searching for me hahhaa than i pass it to her and gave her a goodbye kiss hahhaa so nice of me hahaha than ya went back home liao reach home at 11 plus than bath lol hahahaha.................

i love her so much.......falling in love deeper hahaha.....oh ya i am saving up money liao i wan to give her something hahahah secret hahaha.....
love her so much

black sunday

2009-03-29T03:00:00.000-07:00

haiz today very bad luck when did i did something wrong
sio
haiz wat the fuck am i doing in this world and in my life
the story goes like this:
1.45am
i was going around ppl blog to blog looking if there is any of my circle of friends created a blog
than i went into xiao mao blog..i read and read her blog...its time to go see some link....i saw ''our blog'' hmm i was thinking so fast xiao mao created the blog for us...so i happily open it up..than i saw something that shocked everything such as mentally mood haiz the detail part is a under private so ya back to the story....i read and read the blog i was getting emo and emo le...as i felt that i am not so pro than her ex stead...i getting more heavily and heavily mood...so ya came back to xiao mao profile blog...i saw 'broken' maybe its her new blog so i open up and take a look so again another blow went through me haiz...i read and read i can feel that she still like/love her ex lol.....so my mood getting even worse (from bad to worse).....thats ok i told myself....but when i try to sleep all i can see is that ''the words that coming from the two blog....so i can't sleep at all for the whole night...when its about 6plus i was at the jetty....i saw the first light in punggol jetty...i was just looking at the port of johor.....i am thinking wat am i suppose to do when i see her is it ''pretend that nothing happen'' or ''ask her everything'' or ''just run away'' ???
i didn't came up with any answer...its about 8 plus in the singapore time i was at my house close curtain...i saw there ppl looking at my flat from the opp side flat....the detail part i didn't want to say much...after that i chiong and play hide and seek with them.....than i go meet my xiao mao...in my journey to her house i text her asking abt the blog she say that she no feeling with him but i did not feel anything relieve so at that time my mood is very heavy le....when i reach there i put up a good smile with her...just wan to give her something happy mood but deep down my heart its very terrible very sad...never mind so we went to meet kah hou and the ppl in my unit npcc lorr than we head to beach road to buy their stuff lorr....so after that me and xiao mao we went to sim lim square to buy and repair her Iphone so after that she broke her news to me that she need to reach home at 6 k lorr...since you have to go back liao than forget about my plan
as my plan was to take her to orchand cathay...shop for things and go around maybe take some neo print pa as she once told me that she had a long time since she took one le so i wanted to make her happy by doing that....than after that i hope i can take her to the singapore flyer to have a ride up as i saw her blog wrote that she never exp that yet so i hope that i can make her happy lorrr... but my plan fail haiz thats ok lol....currently my mind is very confused and moody i don know wat to do to make her fall in love with me deeper...can anyone teach me haiz i try everything....as she can read every single of my mind....i believe she exp it before haiz now we even less often wat we usually do...so everytime when i look into her eyes she usually ask why than look away seem to think something else haiz i don't know....

2009-03-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

today i am not feeling very good both physical and mentally...as i seen one of her blog...
i understand that you may still thinking of him i admit that but i always let ppl have the choice
so ya i promise i won't do anything silly till further notice.......you maybe the one that i love but still i must love your everything physical or mentally........hope she understand.....maybe i am jealous pa haha never mind........

2009-03-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

HRC
today trainer and instructor not a lot
3 instructor which is FI
at least 6 trainer haha

today we got more than 6 school coming in mostly area 5 cadet
they quite ok to me haha...i love to take pamper pole haha my stunt
part haha.....i had a badly sunburn haiz saded hahaha than i went to xiao mao house
after that.....we have the emo time we have the happy time mostly together haha haha
so ya hahaha i felt and felt she the cutest girl i ever met so far hahaha....but sometime give into her
hahaha.....at night i heard from my cadet that one of my CI wants to tag along Alamak !!!!
that CI also likes my Xiao Mao Mi haiz haiz haiz...noow i very emo liao sadded he spoil my day haiz
haiz

2009-03-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

today damn fuck up...........
i woke up at 11plus so i go bath and so on and made my way down to school...than i got house arrest i can't come out cos my cadet keep standing outside so i can't come out haiz saded never mind lorr...so after that during the speech day training...i ask mr chin where is my npcc going to stand i was scolded by him and somemore using mic sia kan ni na cheebye he got problem is it kan ni na i ask him nicely lorr kan ni na he think he big fuck is it scold ppl like that...as if he is so big where big his cock big is it kan ni na cheebye....damn piss off from everyone la kan ni na next time that fucking chin if he made another scolding i will withdraw from the speech day kan ni na...so wat st john big fuck arr....is he never do any marking by right he already must brief every CLT or the CI about it yet never...are you respecting us first a not...you think we CI no life is it...kan ni na....from now on i don't respect you at all....mr chin...you are not the person whom i will respect at all now on as you can't manage yr time well, your instruction is not clear at all and your so call planning suck..if you say that ncc plan de...its also your fault that you never do it properly...our npcc CI standing there you think wat... for you to any how scold is it...let me ask you do you like it when someone yell,shout,scream at you for nothing...think about it la mr chin.....use yr brain to think....if they parade were behind time whose fault is that...its yours too as you did not plan well and your instruction did not gave early......where is yr time management.... where is the teamwork all i can see you are playing sole...think about it la use yr brain la

2009-03-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed ?
-cheek
2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning ?
-Full of energy .
3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with ?
-Xiao Mao =]
4. Would you consider yourself spoiled ?
-No
5. Will you ever donate blood ?
-no.
6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
-YES.
7. Do you want someone to be dead ?
-Obviously,yes !
8. What does your last text message say?
-ehhh..
9. What are you thinking right now ?
-thinking of Xiao mao.
1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?
-Yes.
11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
-3 am.
12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
-Nike
13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
-Yup.
14. Who was the last person(s) who text you ?
-Xiao Mao
"Lucky" Person to do this quiz ;
1. Esther
2. Andric
3. Zamree
4. Janice
5. Crytal
6. Andrew
7. Kian Hwee
8. Muthalib
9.Angela
10. Gordon
15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?
no one
16. Is no.3 a male or a female ?
- Male
17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good thing ?
- both are attached.
18. What is no.1 studying about ?
-hmm thats a good qns haha she is still in secondary school
19. When was the last time you text them ?
-last month
2o. Is no.4 single ?
-Yes
21. Say something about no.2
- lol.he getting older and older haha
22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together ?
-both are boys ...
23. Describe no.9 .
-cute , easy to bully
24. What will you do if no.6 & no.7 fight ?
-nothing stand there and watch lorr
25. Do you like 8 ?
-NO ! but okay okay , as a ex classmate.

2009-03-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

today i was suppose to wake up a bit later but lorr two ppl sms me in the morning...both of them wrote ''good morning'' sian than never mind lorr than i heard my mother '(cry mother cry father)in hokkien...about me again haiz damn sad haiz but i don give the damn to her sio but sian my dad going to leave for another country...i am left alone sian everyday can kena shoot and shoot by her haiz sadded haiz never mind lorr....than i slack til 4 plus, i made my way down to sengkang compass point to buy mocha and carmeal for my xiao mao haha..as she complain i didn't buy for her coffee at starbuck haha gues wat she say ''she wan me cannot sleep arr'' haiz haha hope she never read it haha haha....back to the story i waited from 6pm till 7 plus for her wa lau eh damn sian ppl thought wat am i doing there haha...there is a auntie passby ask me wat am i doing there i said i am delivery starbuck hahaha damn peiseh haha....so when xiao mao reach she saw me emo hahaha so i spend my half of the night there at my xiao mao house hahaha all i can say my xiao mao very the cute haha

2009-03-25T09:22:00.000-07:00

today...early in the morning i went around Singapore looking for something hahah hahah
so i started my journey from sengkang shopping centre to vivo city , northpoint (woodland),jurong point (boon lay).....just looking for the something.by the time 4 plus i bought the (something) than i made my way down to her house than i told her i wan to go off liao haha she became so emo sio haha....firstly i put my bag outside her house, i went down tellling her that i am going off,but i was worried that she might emo too much, i made my way back haha when i knock at her door and she didn't saw me guess wat she done,she just slam the door and lock the door haiz sadded haiz,than i just don wan to joke le just knock the door and enter lorr haha......

abseiling level 1

2009-03-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

today i reach hougang primary at about 8.45am when i saw my instructor of the day who is jas
the first time i saw in the school is that a new print machine...i like wtf so pro the school have new print sio haha than when i reach the canteen i saw stall stating jia jia stall something like that i was was shock haha cos my cadet name also ma hahah hahaha than i have 3 run first is at the staricase abseil down slowly than we go up to 4 floor than abseile down i was the second person but wtf my front shirt is wet due to the water in the rope hahah than my test came in lol haha so sian but i pass haha than after that i went to her hse and end of my day ''i am out'' bye bye haha {its a phrase that the instructor thought de haha}

wow my blog dead le hahah very long liao

2009-03-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

thats is so long til i ever blog le hahah from today my blog willl be back intect hahaha
these few months i am busy wither schooling or npcc lol
never go out de lorr i very guai de hahah
so jan til march just busy with both npcc and schooling haha
march time there is a cadet of my who is a female say that she likes me lol
wth lol haha but i never tell her too bad i can't find the truth to tell her
but in the meantime i met a girl who always beside me who always joke with me when i am either
sad or happy hahaha who is {E} hahaah
i went out with her couple of times haha she very cute no wonder a lot of ppl likes her but she
rejected a lot.....so wat about me haha i am so lucky maybe she also likes me too hhaha
next time than i show you guys ppicture haha not the time yet hahaa

2008-12-01T01:24:00.000-08:00

hey its a long time til now i ever mark my trail in here
during this 2 month i went through quite a lot of stuff such as Adventure Training Camp for my npcc side, going out with my buddy , going out with my delta squad , going to Jam with my buddy......
i had quite a good time with them
i might be going to new zealand this december for business trip if not i am going to australia to join my friends at gold coast because every this time of the year all the school in australia are in holiday so my friends included too so have to join them too hahaha tml is my exam in ite so ppl out there is having the exam just like me best of luck k

_____________________________________________________________________
13dec
i am heading out to australia liao haha my friends ask me a question when we are at the departure hall if that girl very chio and ya my answer to him very chio but he didn't answer her for number so i answer for him...i said hi can i make friends with you?? and ya she gave me her number...the most luckies part is that she board the same plane and she sit beside me haha and we chat chat till we reach the international airport in perth haha her name is LILI
from china but she come to singapore to study so on haha so during australia trip i stead with her haha as she go there for holiday ma hahah

high rope course (6 0ct to 9 oct)

2008-10-09T17:27:00.000-07:00

today i went to the changi jetty at 7.30an and saw edward than we talk and talk til 8am where a lot of ppl start coming out from nowhere than we board the bumboat at 8.30am to pulau ubin reaching there we had van took us in haha so gd than when we had settle down in the bunk and so on than we start our activity liao my grp first activity is ACT or can say ARC (Advanced Rope Challenge Course) spend a whole day there we done pample pole and dangle duo(kelvin from NCDCC) than thats it lol but the since the day til 3rd day we had curry chicken rice lol sian either for lunch or dinner lol so back to the subject 2nd day we had ICT (intermediate Challenge Tower) spending the half day there and the rest at TCP (team challenge Pyramid) the double flying fox it is damn fun sia hahah all of us 6 of us while standing and hold on to the bell rope as it is so high up there lol haha so two by two goes down liao haha at nite we had tunneling damn nice so dark and very hot lol 3rd day we had to go to bahru campsite by van to the observation tower than we had rock climbing and abseiling oh ya commandant was there too haha than we had to go to the low rope challenge than thats it oh ya we had test at nite too
4th day we had assessment we had to do dangle duo and pample pole at ARC , flying Fox and ICT course lol than here we are we have obtain the HRC trainer cert so that it

hey this is my baby miao mi during all the the time is always be there for me as i wanted a gf always be there for me when i need her lorr and yup when everything she always there for me haha thats why i love her so much she is a very caring person....as if the person care for me i will care for her 10x times

this september holiday pa

2008-10-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

past few week i went to quite a lot of country as there is a day my friends ask me if weather i wants have a backpacking trip (you should know wat is that) 22 September i step into a plane a SIA plane and my friends gave me a surprise thats is he book all our seats at first class wow man the seat is damn gd sia very comfort very wide than normal seat at the back of the plane hahaha and flight attendent very chio wow ok la maybe too much le haha but i love it man can drink wine without paying due to inflight drink hahaa i hope so hehehe as i didn't get to pay haha
it took abt 16hrs to reach Luton International Airport at UK when i reach there is abt 5am in the morning there as the sky is still quite dark pa so we landed and the next qns is where to sleep or rest so we manage to find a hotel around it St. Lawrence Hotel is like a 3 star to me as the place look nice to stay in the price also very nice don have to say much haha
so we rested and wake up so on at 9am and started to check out than we went out to the lobby is a damn fresh air and i look up i can see the sky was damn blue clear nice where by our trip start i was damn hungry that moment than we came across a place look like starbuck that kind of place and i make a fool of myself i said that i want coffee 2 egg and 2 piece of bread (in hokkien) haha all my friends ask why and they laugh like siao sian lol haiz so we head out to others place in a while so now i will use picture to show u guys everything rather than typing as i hate typing that much i am trying to say is Picture speak thousands word haha enjoy:)

(*note that the picture is not in order)
my friends

that france as u can see

haha france

london

burger king

guess what is it

the church-of-saint-chappelle---palace-de-justice-paris-france

kourion---ampitheatre--limassol-bay-cyprus

hot

the-fortress-and-suburbs-and-the-sea-dubrovnik-croatia

-a-view-of-the-walls-and-the-sea-dubrovnik-croatia

morskie-oko-notice-how-the-mountains-go-right-into-the-lake-zakopane-poland

again-somewhere-in-croatia-croatia

a-pic-made-from-the-car-somewhere-in-croatia-croatia

the-view-of-high-tatras-iii-slovensky-raj-slovakia

the-view-of-high-tatras-i-vysoke-tatry-slovakia

a-little-walk-to-the-cottage-senohradske-lazy-slovakia

thats-jackie-on-the-little-cart-tatranska-lomnica-slovakia

drew-on-this-little-tobagan-ride-it-wasnt-the-best-but-a-little-fun-tatranska-lomnica-slovakia

rouen-cathedral-normandy-france

mont-st-michel-normandy-france

-theres-plenty-of-friendly-dogs-on-ponza-this-fellow-found-an-interesting-place-to-take-a-rest-ponza-italy

the-ferry-during-its-approach-to-ponzas-harbor-ponza-italy

-taken-from-the-deck-of-the-ferry-as-we-approach-the-island-of-ponza-italy-ponza-italy

-from-kasprowy-wierch-the-border-of-slovakia-zakopane-poland

guess where am i

the map in the area

picture-perfect-switzerland-lausanne-switzerland

view-dubrovnik-croatia

wanted by people

-barragem-idanha-a-nova-portugal

-pantheon-built-27bc-most-likely-seen-a-thing-or-two-in-its-time-rome-italy

oldtown-fromthe-outskirts-bombed-heavily-just-15-years-ago-bounced-back-in-style-dubrovnik-croatia

dubrovnik-sunset-or-was-it-a-sunrise-dubrovnik-croatia

-the-rock-gibraltar-gibraltar

on-the-trail-to-schronisko-murowaniec-2-tatra-mountains-poland

-henrich-the-goat-farmer-zakopane-poland

cows-block-traffick-on-a-country-road-

-minsk-moscow-highway-very-busy-as-you-can-see-minsk-belarus